I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
