You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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