what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
