Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
