what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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