Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
