I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
