It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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