Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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