I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
