As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
