The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
There's even glitter on my cock...
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