i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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