Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
