Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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