I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
