I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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