last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
