Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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