Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
