wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
