Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
