I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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