Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
