i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
