the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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