I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
