Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry -_- hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(519): View more from Ontario

i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.

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(516): View more from New York

good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...

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(+61): View more from Australia

I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while

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(315): View more from New York

Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.

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