There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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