another moral hangover. fuck.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
