Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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