there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
vagina is talking i cant
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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