that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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