i would punch a child for taco bell
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
