I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
