I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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