do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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