my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
my liver is dry heaving
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
