Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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