Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You dont lie about slip and slides
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
