So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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