Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
