I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize