There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
