Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
