recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
