Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
