also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
