how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
