Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We are all done wearing pants today
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
