Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
They took my balls.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
