omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize