I must be too annoying 4 u.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
