I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just pee around me
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
