They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
