i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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