And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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