Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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