i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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