We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
organizing the empties. That sober.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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