I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
