He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
