It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
