Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
