I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
