it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
