That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
