i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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