We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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