i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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